seeing the world from two feet higher

My son uses a stepstool when we cook together. He recently discovered he can push it around the house, effectively doubling the size of his world.

He can reach the peanut butter jar in the pantry, which makes it easy for snacking right out of the jar using his fingers- no utensils needed.

Light switches are now within easy reach. (The thermostat too...)

 



Wall art can now be studied.

 





 

"Mom," he says, "I want this to be my new house."

 





Why yes, the hall closet did need to be organized, thanks.

 





 

Luckily, when he saw the cleaning supplies in the closet, I was able to distract him from his organizing project and on to another project: window washing.







a mother's day dance party

My Mother's Day celebration started on Saturday evening with a wild dance party. By "wild," I mean that my son and I turned on the Saturday Night Fever channel on the IPod and got crazy on the dance floor (a.k.a. our living room). He's really got some moves. My husband and I haven't decided which one of us he got his dance skills from.

The dance party continued on Sunday... at 5:45 am... If you've never seen the sunrise while dancing to disco in your living room with your toddler, well, it's a unique and memorable occasion. One I probably didn't fully appreciate at the time, but that I will always remember.

I sure love this guy and feel so lucky to be his mom. Even if he isn't happy to be in photos with me.

Here is a photo from the night he was born. It's grainy and partially obscured by our midwife's finger and my hair is all sweaty, but I love that the joy we felt in meeting our son for the first time was captured in this photo. I still feel that joy when I see him.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.

youth poetry slam

I heard about this group of kids on the radio the other day while I was driving home from work. Kids who are writing and performing slam poetry. Kids who are brave enough to read something they wrote in front of an audience. Kids who are taking tough life experiences and turning them into art with a maturity that I'm not sure I will ever have.

You probably already know this about me, but I love the written word. I love books, and I love blogs, and I love that kids are out there, getting excited about writing poetry. (And doing a pretty amazing job at it, too.)

Check it out: Tucson Youth Poetry Slam. Here are a couple to get you started:  Zack T. and Faith D.

a little boy gets a family

About eight months ago, I fell in love with a little boy named Tavin. Tavin has a condition called "arthrogryposis" and has lived almost his entire life in an orphanage in Ukraine. I saw his sweet face and wanted so badly to bring him home to live with us. My heart ached for him every night as I tucked my son into bed, knowing that Tavin had no parent to kiss him goodnight or read him a bedtime story.

Although the timing wasn't right for us to adopt Tavin, I am so, so glad to announce that Tavin has a family! There is one less orphan in the world. His sweet, loving family has just returned from their journey to adopt him. You can read about it here: http://daffodilsandearthworms.blogspot.com/

Our friends adopted a little boy from the same orphanage last year. Their adoption journey was so inspiring and uplifting, and their little boy is thriving in their home. It is truly amazing what a difference a family makes.

In spite of all this joy, my heart still breaks for the many other children who are still living in orphanages. Many of these orphanages have good intentions, but their resources are just so limited that they don't come close to meeting these children's needs, especially if the children have special needs. For proper development, children need things like physical touch, being held, and stimulating activities. They need eye contact. These are very basic needs, and they aren't being met. Children don't receive the stimulation and love they need to thrive as they would in a family environment. 

The prospects for these children are quite grim: if they survive to the age when they are released from institutional care, their chances of living on the streets and getting involved with drugs and crime are high.

It's hard to find out just how many children are living in orphanages. This in itself is troubling to me. These aren't rare trees we're talking about, which just haven't been fully counted yet because they're hard to find and no one has taken the time to do it yet - we're talking about children here.

If you made it all the way through that, I want to say thank you. What do I want you to do with this information? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how I want to approach this topic in the context of my life and my family. I know it's something that touches me deeply. Think about it. Let it percolate. If it touches you, too, then consider doing something. There are many ways to help.

Want to find out more?

Check out Reece's Rainbow, which connects children with special needs with adoptive families.

Watch Ukraine's Forgotten Children, a BBC documentary about orphanages in Ukraine, available on YouTube.

Visit SOS Children's Villages, which is working to strengthen families to keep children in the care of their own parents, and to ensure quality care for children who cannot be cared for by their biological family.

Read this blog and this blog about other families who have adopted. Adoption is a hard and beautiful journey for the child and the adoptive families.

Read The Connected Child, by Karyn Purvis, which describes the effects that life in an orphanage can have on a child's development, and how to deal with some of these challenges.

i heart mama and son night

A word of caution to the reader: This post contains footnotes¹.

Once a week, my husband spends an evening out doing whatever guys with wives and kids do when they can go out by themselves. Tonight his plan was to go to Home Depot and watch a game of some sort.

That means the little guy and I get an evening to ourselves. We love it.

When we got home from school/work last night, we started cooking our dinner together: shrimp with pesto and zucchini noodles². I really love cooking with him. Although it tends to be a little messy, he is so enthusiastic and such a hard worker, it makes cooking so much fun.

He was in charge of the food processor and made a delicious cilantro pesto. While I julienned the zucchini and peeled the shrimp, he moved his stepstool around the kitchen, inspecting the stove from a careful distance, getting utensils for stirring the pesto, washing said utensils, and selecting spices³ for his shrimp (as he deemed the pesto shudder-worthy).

After dinner, we ate warm berry cobbler on the kitchen floor⁴, and then he went outside to play while I washed some dishes. A clean kitchen – hurrah⁵! Then I went outside to join him in making mud puddles and such. I took a picture of him.



He took one of me⁶.



He got out his fireman’s hose.



Eek! Spiderweb spotted inside the hose. I removed it with a stick while he documented everything.



Somehow, I convinced him to go inside not only to get his diaper changed, but also to take a bath, which he did without putting up much of a fight⁷, which in itself is a minor miracle.

Bathtime can sometimes be a bit tedious, but last night he was in rare form and almost busted a gut when he mispronounced “spaghetti.” I thought for a minute that he was going to fall down in the tub, he was laughing so hard.

After bath, he put on his pajama shorts by himself (!) and we settled in for books and songs⁸.  Hugs, kisses, and only a little bit of stalling, and he went to sleep.

And so did I.

^{____________________________
1} I just finished reading I’ve Got Your Number (Sophie Kinsella), in which the narrator supplements the story with humorous footnotes. Loved it!
² Recipe from Practical Paleo (Diane Sanfilippo). Delicious.
³ Old Bay and onion soup mix.
⁴ Spilled a little.
⁵ Never mind that, in the process of cleaning up, I spilled shrimp water on the counter and down the front of the cabinets (and a little inside, too).
⁶ Don’t worry, it’s not a bomb site, it’s a patio-in-progress.
⁷ Although he did escape from me en route to the tub and hide under the dining room table for a few minutes.
⁸ We sang almost the entire Sound of Music soundtrack. I so wish I had recorded his yodeling.

i love this book: Remember Me?

Enough about children's books - let's talk about chick lit!

I've been reading a lot of books about parenting and healthy eating and other topics that are interesting and important, but not exactly what I would call "fun" reading. I picked up Remember Me? (Sophie Kinsella) as an audiobook at the library a couple weeks ago. Now this is a fun book.

Here's the premise: Lexi Smart falls down and hits her head while out clubbing with her friends. When she wakes up, it's three years later. She finds that she now has a high-powered job. The perfect husband. A beautiful, expensive loft apartment.  And no memory of any of it. We tag along with Lexi as she tries to integrate into her new life while uncovering secrets about the last three years.

This isn't intellectual literary fiction; it's make-you-laugh-out-loud fun. And even though I could guess what was going to happen, this book had me hooked until the end. (Picture me setting up the cd player next to my sewing machine so I could listen to it during my naptime chores.)

If you do read this book as an audiobook, just note that it's not suitable for young listeners. So you may find yourself being thankful for red lights and taking the long way to pick up the kids from school.

solitude

I just finished reading Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. It's a small and unassuming book, blue with a picture of a shell on the front. It was written in 1955, and in the author's world, men go to work and women are homemakers. Sound outdated? For me, right now, it is so very timely.

I recently read a chapter about how our roles affect how and where we spend our energy. For example, men use their energy in creative ways at work, while women's days are consumed with the often-tedious tasks of maintaining a household and raising children.

I thought at first that I couldn't relate to the woman the author described, since I work outside the home. But then I realized - I work all day, and then when I get home, I do all the things she describes as a woman's role. This absolutely applies to me.

Both men and women can be drained by their day-to-day responsibilities, but the effect tends to be stronger for women. Why? The author says that "all her instinct as a woman - the eternal nourisher of children, of men, of society - demands that she give. Her time, her energy, her creativeness drain out into these channels if there is any chance, any leak." Through all her giving, woman finds her resources depleted.

How do we nourish ourselves and ensure that we have the energy and spirit to perform our daily tasks? By spending time alone. And by directing our energy during our time alone toward activities that inspire, fulfill, and energize us.

By spending time alone "sometime during the year, some part of each week, and each day."

For me, this is huge. Ms. Lindbergh is giving us permission to take time to ourselves. Every day. Every week. And every year. It's not only allowed, it's essential to our health, happiness, and well-being.

This time alone isn't for doing something like taking a shower or washing the dishes. It's for doing something relaxing, inspiring, or energizing. Something enjoyable. Something that is just for you.

Since my son was born, almost three years ago, I've had a hard time allowing myself to take time for myself. But I'm starting to change that. Last weekend, I went to the library and Whole Foods by myself. Yes, it was still a chore as opposed to something purely relaxing, but it's a step in the right direction. And it was pretty exhilarating to linger in the aisles of Whole Foods for as long as I wanted to. I'm also carving out time for writing blog posts, which I find incredibly rewarding and energizing.

Your turn: how do you make time for yourself?