C's Library Grand Opening - Please Come Soon!

C has been working hard setting up a library in our living room. He created a video tour of the library and asked if he could send it around the world. Here it is; enjoy!

 

 

writing a book

My son and I recently did a fun activity - writing a book! He created the illustrations and the story, and I wrote it down and glued the illustrations in the book. I was impressed that he was able to develop a story that was logical and linear. It turned out so great! Here are a few sample pages:

Interestingly, the witch's name was not revealed until the back cover, where it was displayed on a moveable flap (the rest of it is on the other side of the pink paper).



Daddy enjoyed reading the book, too!

bedtime

We took a road trip over Labor Day weekend. Since my son did this for 2.5 hours on the way home...

 

 

...he wasn't tired at bedtime, while my husband and I were totally exhausted.

 

"Fine," my husband said, "why don't you put us to bed tonight?" As you might guess, my son loved this idea. He had us put on our pajamas and brush our teeth, and then read to us (for me, he read/sang Real Simple magazine). He gave us hugs and kisses and then went off to "do C nighttime stuff." While my husband got back up to turn off the computer, my son put on his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and played quietly in his room with some building blocks. I turned out my light and fell asleep.

 

When I woke up in the morning, the house was dark and quiet, and my husband wasn't in our room. He came in a few minutes later and told me he had fallen asleep in the spare bedroom while waiting for the computer to turn off. We went into the family room and saw some items that our son had apparently been using the night before. We couldn't wait to hear what "C nighttime stuff" had included!

 

When my son got up, he explained that he had come into the family room last night and cut out the mini book that comes with his High Five magazine. He had also done some coloring in his Dora the Explorer coloring book. After that, he went into his room but remembered he needed to turn off the lights, so he got back up and turned them off, then got back in bed. Overall, he said, it was a fun night, but he was a little sad he hadn't gotten a story before he went to bed. We all decided that, normally, Mama and Daddy would put him to bed. But we were so proud of how responsible our little man was!

mystery

I recently did an escape game as a work activity, and I had a blast! A few of my coworkers and I were locked in a room and couldn't leave until we had solved a mystery. It was so much fun. When I got home, I told my son about it, and he loved the idea. My brain must have been working on it all that night while I was sleeping, because when I woke up, I had an idea for creating a mystery for my son in our spare bedroom.

After spending 30 minutes setting up, I gave the following photo to my son and his friend, who was at our house for a playdate, and told them that Paduba the Dog was missing! They needed to find out where he was and who had taken him.

Here are the clues they found (plus a few more, like a washcloth and spare credit card that weren't actually part of the game):

To get some of the clues, they first had to find keys / combinations to open locks for the suitcase and safe:

There were also clues hidden here (although not in the Kleenex box, as they discovered through their meticulous searching):

They spent almost an hour in the room! It was fun hearing them talk to each other and to see how well they had done when they finally asked for a hint. They had found almost all of the clues and just needed a little help to figure out how to use the clues to solve the mystery.

Here's what my son thought about it all:

He immediately got to work making more clues so that we could set up the room again, with a slightly different mystery, for Daddy when he got home from work.

don't try this at home

I recently decided to paint the red accent wall in our kitchen white. I started on Mama and Son Day. My son was super excited to help. We got supplies and started painting primer with brushes. This kept his interest for about five minutes. Then he played by himself and watched "Dogs with Jobs" for the rest of the time I was painting. I'm so thankful he is old enough to entertain himself for short periods of time!

 

 

 

P.S. Painting white over red took 2 coats of primer, 4 coats of paint, and 4 weekends to complete. 

P.P.S. I enjoyed this sign my son made to keep our painting a surprise from my husband. I'm not sure how much my husband enjoyed not being able to enter the kitchen...

 

why 4 is the new 3

I know I always say that whatever age my son is, it's my favorite age. Well, it's true of 4 too! I love the conversations we have, the things we learn about (space! water treatment plants!), the activities we do (Legos!). I also love the skills he has gained in the past few months: getting himself dressed, brushing his own teeth, and going to the potty by himself. Awesome.

Here's an example of how grown-up he is. The other day when I was home with him, we were getting ready for Family Movie Night. Our preparations usually include cleaning up the living room after "nap" time (the one downside to four is that no naps occur during naptime). This time, I made him take a bath, too. After his bath, I left him in his room while I went to take my shower. While I was enjoying a hot, uninterrupted shower (!), he got himself dressed. When I got out of the shower, he came to tell me he had started cleaning up the living room. By himself. Without me even asking him to. This guy is amazing!!

shields

My son asked me to make him a shield with one of the leftover pieces of cardboard from our appliance box house. Having just finished the second book in Game of Thrones, I got totally into it. Here's the one he made. It shows a picture of him in a castle, with a dragon below.

 

Here's what we did on the back:

 

  My art projects always pale in comparison to his, but here's mine. I call it "Red Lightning."

new house

We got a new refrigerator and dishwasher the other day, and we've been making the most of the boxes they came in.

Waiting for Daddy to cut holes...

My son made a sign for his new house:

And then helped with some of the construction:

Once the door was punched in...

...he was in business.

How does he like it? Thumbs up!

 

No, two thumbs up!

 

No, wait, four thumbs up!!

where i've been

I can't believe it's been a month since my last post! I don't have any good excuses about where I've been, except that I've been taking a little break. In the past month, we've had the usual ups and downs of life: busyness at work; sicknesses to battle; house projects to do; Game of Thrones books to read...

My son also turned 4 at the end of June and had a police-themed birthday party. Nana and Bumpa (and others) dressed up. It was awesome!

I've been posting twice a week since I started the blog, but moving forward, I'm going to post on more of a casual basis, when something strikes me as worthy of sharing. As always, thanks for reading and for all of your support!

Best. Game. Ever.

I am a genius. I have come up with the perfect bedtime game to play with my son. It's called "Let's See Who Can Get Ready for Bed the Fastest". Here's how you play:

1. List the steps child must complete to get ready for bed. I.e., potty, brush teeth, put on pjs, find stuffed dog and bring into bedroom.
2. Go get yourself ready for bed while child scrambles through tasks. Take your time. When child comes in to see how fast you're going, tell them how much you have left to encourage them to keep playing in spite of whatever difficulties they're having wrangling those pjs.
3. When child announces that they are done getting ready, act really disappointed that they beat you. Celebrate on the inside. NOTE: It is very important not to let on how happy you are that they got themselves ready for bed; otherwise they might catch on.

That's it! Now, instead of the long, drawn-out process of nagging and stalling, you have a streamlined process that also allows you to fall right into bed after tucking in your little one. Double win! Sure, their pjs are on backwards, there's toothpaste all over the sink, and they probably didn't brush their teeth as thoroughly as you would have. But you know what? I'm not losing any sleep over it. In fact, I've gained 15 minutes of sleep. Hurrah!

going to the moon

My son recently read a book where one of the characters turns his house into a rocket and jets off to the moon. He thinks this is a great idea and is full of complicated plans for us to do the same. He has, however, thus far been thwarted by the logistics of such an endeavor.

 

His initial thought was to use our inflatable pool as our rocket, since it is already equipped with four seats, meaning that all three of us and his aunt could go together. We would pack lunch and probably dinner, since we would likely want to stay in outer space for a while. However, the pool doesn't have seatbelts, and he wasn't sure how to make them, so this plan has been abandoned.

 

His next step was to do a little research into space travel. He and his aunt got some books at the library and read up on the moon, space, and the planets. They painted pictures of the solar system. They talked about how long it would take to get to other planets.

 

The solar system

 

Thus equipped with all the knowledge of space travel that was available in the children's section of our local library, he resumed construction. The new plan was to turn our house into a rocket using materials we already have on hand. I found him poking a chunk of concrete in the backyard. "Mom," he said, "is this the right kind of metal to make a rocket?" Unfortunately, it wasn't, and things got quiet on the planning front for a while.

 

It seems he may have turned to a greater power to get us into outer space. I asked him what he was going to wish for when he blows out his birthday candles this weekend, and he responded, without hesitation, "I will wish for our house to turn into a rocket."

the way we present ourselves

My sister, who is the amazing mom of my beautiful two-year-old niece, recently told me about a discussion she had as part of her MOPs group. The message was that the way we represent ourselves and our lives to other moms has an impact on them, and this impact can be positive or negative. For example, have you ever gone to someone's house for a playdate and found it sparkling clean? If you're like me, you probably progress through amazement, disbelief, resignation, and then end up at inadequacy. Because my house is very rarely sparkling, and how does this mom do it, anyway???

So the idea is, be conscious of the image you present to your other mom friends, and try to be as real as possible. Maybe this means that you don't clean your house before your mom friends come over, because their house is most likely not clean, and seeing that yours is might make them feel like they're not doing enough. That is not the message any of us moms needs to hear. Let them see the real you, including the tantrums, the messy bed-head, the dusty piano, and the coupons your child has spent all week cutting and that are now all over the living room floor. Show them poop hanging from the ceiling, if you want. Let them see that you are not perfect, but that you are happy.

It's definitely a challenge for me to not clean before guests arrive. But with this message in mind, I've been ignoring the dusting and leaving some toys out on the floor when I know a mom is coming over. I've also been trying to keep in check the urge to make it seem like I'm on top of everything. Because I'm not, and no one else is either. And trying to pretend otherwise is not helpful to anyone.

finding your alloparents

I recently read the book Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time (Brigid Schulte, 2014), in which the author discusses the question of whether it makes sense for mothers to work. As a working mom, I've often thought it would make a lot more sense for me to be at home, taking a nap when my son napped, keeping up with the housework, and preparing dinner during the day instead of during the crazy 5:00 pm scramble.

Is it just natural for mothers to not work outside the home, in favor of caring for children? In the book, Brigid Schulte explores this question with Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, evolutionary anthropologist and professor emeritus at University of California, Davis.

Hrdy studied a hunter-gatherer tribe in Kalahari Desert in Africa and found that women often worked, either taking their children with them while gathering food, or leaving them at home with alloparents - fathers, older siblings, grandparents, relatives, and other trusted, nurturing adults. Based on these observations, Hrdy concluded that "it's natural for mothers to work. It's natural for mothers to take care of their children... What's unnatural is for mothers to be the sole caretaker of children. What's unnatural is not to have more support for mothers." This applies both to mothers who work outside the home and those who stay home. 

"Women are just as prone as other apes to worry about the well-being of new babies. But what hunter-gatherer mothers do not do postpartum is refuse to let anyone else come near or hold their baby. This is an important difference... Babies are never left alone and are constantly held by someone, but that someone is not invariably the mother" (Sarah Blaffer Hrdy, Mothers and Others).

This discussion resonates with me. The issue is not that mothers shouldn't work, but that working parents have a lot on their plates and not enough support. Similarly, mothers shouldn't be expected to be the sole childcare provider. Incorporating alloparents into our families can help. 

Alloparents can be used to care for children while parents are working or to give parents a break outside of working hours. For the rest of this discussion, I'm going to focus on using alloparents during non-working hours or for stay-at-home parents, because that's what I find most challenging. 

I see the process of incorporating alloparents into our lives as consisting of three steps:

1. Decide what level of support you need. Maybe you need a couple of hours to yourself once a week, or to go on a weekly date with your spouse. Maybe you need someone to watch the kids while you make dinner. Only you know what you need.
2. Identify potential alloparents. It can be a challenge to identify suitable, available alloparents. Here are some potential options to consider:
• Grandparents 
• Older siblings
• Non-immediate relatives, such as aunts, uncles, and cousins
• Teenagers who live in your neighborhood
• Church members - our church has a group of seniors who offer babysitting support to families with young children
• Childcare at the gym or church - take advantage of these services to give yourself a short break
• Other moms - arrange a kid swap once a week and alternate weeks so you each get a break
• Fathers - Many fathers are already highly engaged in the care of their children, but it might still be possible for your husband to watch the kids while you go out by yourself for an hour to recharge
3. Let go. When my son was young, I was very reluctant to let anyone I didn't know watch him. Some mothers even have trouble trusting their husbands to take care of their children. But in order for alloparents to effectively relieve the burden of parents, we have to let go and trust that our children will be ok. Because they will. My husband and I have a 14-year-old neighbor who watches our son every other week so we can go out to dinner together, and she does a great job. She even washes the dishes (!!!).

So here is my challenge to you: find some alloparents and put them to use!

bubbles

During our visit to my parents' house, my mom had the house totally stocked with great kids activities, including this bubble fan. My son spent a lot of time blowing bubbles, chasing bubbles, and counting bubbles.

a fun day

My son and I spent last week at my parents' house. Just like our visit last year, we had a blast!

One day, we went to a park, where my son and Nana played at the playground while my dad and I went on a bike ride. It was a special treat to ride through meadows and forest, and along a creek.

 After the park, we grabbed lunch at a restaurant with the perfect view for a 3-year-old.

bike ride in the park

My son and I went to the park on a cool, cloudy day recently. He brought his bike, and I brought my camera. Here are a few photos I took while we were there.

happy mother's day!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

My son and I started the day with a 6:00 am concert with his new trumpet (a potty-training reward). I sure love that sweet boy.

are you ready for your 7-minute workout?

A friend recently told me about this 7-minute workout from the New York Times. It's great! Challenging (at least for out-of-shape me), but short enough that I can actually fit it into my day. I like to do this while dinner is cooking and doesn't need my attention. My son always joins me; I love his enthusiasm.

He's so enthusiastic, in fact, that he's started leading his own 7-minute workouts at our house. They are intense! Fast-paced and filled with unusual, but strenuous, moves, including the "pillow lift" and a modified push-up where you jump your legs up to meet your hands and then back to push-up position. At the end of each workout session, we show off our new muscles to each other. We are getting pumped up.

what we did this weekend

Here's what we did over the weekend:

 

 

We've tried potty training before, but it never really stuck. This time my son really took to it. As my mom says, if you wait long enough, potty training is easy. He pretty much trained himself! And my husband and I are so very proud of him. Since I took this picture, my son has blasted through the potty training chart and has almost made it to the final reward.

 

P.S. That reward that looks like a tablet? That's just for a new app, not a whole tablet, as he initially thought. Luckily, a new app is almost as exciting to him as a tablet.

 

Ice Cream Reward for the Big Boy!