Let's talk about burnout. This is my story.
I normally keep a running list of blog post ideas in my queue. A few months ago, I took a look at my list and found:
I normally keep a running list of blog post ideas in my queue. A few months ago, I took a look at my list and found:
- Take a Break
- Is This Parenting... or House Arrest?
My days, especially work days, were jam-packed with chores and tasks and conspicuously devoid of "me" time. I raced from task to task, trying to get everything done as fast as humanly possible. In the evenings, after I'd cooked dinner and cleaned up the kitchen and had time to play with my son, I would either play with him while surreptitiously cleaning up the room, or lie on the couch, too exhausted to do anything but count the minutes until it was time to get him ready for bed. If I snuck away to do something I have been wanting to do, like text a friend or download photos from my camera, I would be on edge, knowing that I was on borrowed time, and someone would soon interrupt me and demand that I do something for them.
I know this all sounds very selfish and immature. I mean, I'm a working parent. What do I expect? I have responsibilities. Plus, I tend to take on activities I don't need to. I could order pizza instead of cooking dinner every night, etc.
I don't know what a reasonable amount of freedom or personal time for a working parent to have is. I know there are many working parents out there who handle all of my daily challenges, and much more, with grace and cheerfulness. I wish I could be more like them. Instead, I often feel angry. Exhausted. Cranky. Empty. Dissatisfied. Alone. And I know that there are other parents out there feeling the same way.
Your turn: Have you ever felt burned out?
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| My son plays by himself... |
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| ...while I wait for bedtime |
First thing that should be said is that at this stage of life, your feelings are completely normal. Do not see this as a shortcoming in you. Don't listen to anyone who says, "You shouldn't feel this way." Working full time and raising small children is a challenging time of life. Being exhausted from that life sometimes is to be expected. To be running on empty most or all the time is bad for you, unhealthy. Everyone needs down time to recharge. And it's not just for you: how can you be as good a worker, mom or wife when you're worn out? But perhaps even more important, when you're beat, you can't get the enjoyment out of work or motherhood or marriage that you deserve to.
ReplyDeleteRecognizing your burnout is an important first step. Next, you MUST find a way to make space in your life for you to attend to your needs, whether time alone, out with other moms, or whatever. You are as much a person in your family as anyone else is. You have as much right to get what you need as anyone else does. I would hope your husband reads this blog and, through his love for you, recognizes that you need more help with the load you are carrying on behalf of your partnership together. Then again, it may be that you will find that the only person there to watch out for you is you, and then you will need to stand up and be strong enough to make that time and space you need for yourself. You would be doing it not only for your own health and your own good, but also for the good of your family and your marriage.
And if that is not enough motivation, consider that this is in fact a life skill. Your life is extremely demanding now and you need to find a way to deal with that and remain whole. But it is not the only time in your life that will be like that. So learning now how to get what you need to sustain you through tough times is something you'll be able to rely on again and again in your life.
Make some space for you. Take care of yourself.
Very true! Especially about this being a life skill that doesn't just apply to raising small children. I have made some progress on Step 2 that I'll be discussing in the next few weeks, but it's definitely a work in progress. I welcome all input and suggestions.
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