solitude: what happens when you're alone with your thoughts?

Before we were married, Mr. Wonderful and I took a 400-mile bike ride through Alberta and Montana. We were together the whole time, but the reality was that we rode single-file for the majority of each day. There were snack breaks, scenery to admire, and terrifying descents, but there was also a lot of time for nothing but being alone. I don't think I had ever had that much time with nothing but my thoughts to occupy me. It was interesting. It wasn't always pretty, or comfortable. Sometimes I was worried or anxious. Sometimes I came up with coping strategies, ways to ignore my thoughts. Sometimes I composed articles for our local biking magazine in my head as I rode. Sometimes I just gave in to my thoughts and rode the waves. Sometimes I cracked myself up.

 

I find that I rarely just sit with my thoughts. So much of the time, I reach for something to occupy me when I'm alone: a book, tv, my phone. When my son was a newborn, he would only nap when we were holding him, and sometimes I wouldn't think to grab the tv remote, my phone, or a book before he fell asleep, and then I wouldn't want to disturb him by moving (at all). So I would sit on the couch, for hours sometimes, with nothing to do but stare out the window, watch the clouds move across the sky and the leaves rustle in the wind. I termed this the "Zen of Parenting." It was frustrating at times, but it also felt calming to spend my time this way. I could think about things, instead of cramming more things into my head or zoning out watching tv.

It seems to me that there is something good about making time for idle thoughts. For creating space to let our minds wander. I don't know why, exactly; it's just a feeling I have. In my life, moments like this are scarce. Even during the shortest time periods between activities, I feel the need to be entertained or get something accomplished. Why? Are my chores really that important? Is boredom really so awful? Is being alone with my thoughts really so uncomfortable?

Your turn: Do you allow yourself time to be alone with your thoughts?