About eight months ago, I fell in love with a little boy named Tavin. Tavin has a condition called "arthrogryposis" and has lived almost his entire life in an orphanage in Ukraine. I saw his sweet face and wanted so badly to bring him home to live with us. My heart ached for him every night as I tucked my son into bed, knowing that Tavin had no parent to kiss him goodnight or read him a bedtime story.
Although the timing wasn't right for us to adopt Tavin, I am so, so glad to announce that Tavin has a family! There is one less orphan in the world. His sweet, loving family has just returned from their journey to adopt him. You can read about it here: http://daffodilsandearthworms.blogspot.com/
Our friends adopted a little boy from the same orphanage last year. Their adoption journey was so inspiring and uplifting, and their little boy is thriving in their home. It is truly amazing what a difference a family makes.
In spite of all this joy, my heart still breaks for the many other children who are still living in orphanages. Many of these orphanages have good intentions, but their resources are just so limited that they don't come close to meeting these children's needs, especially if the children have special needs. For proper development, children need things like physical touch, being held, and stimulating activities. They need eye contact. These are very basic needs, and they aren't being met. Children don't receive the stimulation and love they need to thrive as they would in a family environment.
The prospects for these children are quite grim: if they survive to the age when they are released from institutional care, their chances of living on the streets and getting involved with drugs and crime are high.
It's hard to find out just how many children are living in orphanages. This in itself is troubling to me. These aren't rare trees we're talking about, which just haven't been fully counted yet because they're hard to find and no one has taken the time to do it yet - we're talking about children here.
If you made it all the way through that, I want to say thank you. What do I want you to do with this information? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how I want to approach this topic in the context of my life and my family. I know it's something that touches me deeply. Think about it. Let it percolate. If it touches you, too, then consider doing something. There are many ways to help.
Want to find out more?
Check out Reece's Rainbow, which connects children with special needs with adoptive families.
Watch Ukraine's Forgotten Children, a BBC documentary about orphanages in Ukraine, available on YouTube.
Visit SOS Children's Villages, which is working to strengthen families to keep children in the care of their own parents, and to ensure quality care for children who cannot be cared for by their biological family.
Read this blog and this blog about other families who have adopted. Adoption is a hard and beautiful journey for the child and the adoptive families.
Read The Connected Child, by Karyn Purvis, which describes the effects that life in an orphanage can have on a child's development, and how to deal with some of these challenges.
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