solitude

I just finished reading Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. It's a small and unassuming book, blue with a picture of a shell on the front. It was written in 1955, and in the author's world, men go to work and women are homemakers. Sound outdated? For me, right now, it is so very timely.

I recently read a chapter about how our roles affect how and where we spend our energy. For example, men use their energy in creative ways at work, while women's days are consumed with the often-tedious tasks of maintaining a household and raising children.

I thought at first that I couldn't relate to the woman the author described, since I work outside the home. But then I realized - I work all day, and then when I get home, I do all the things she describes as a woman's role. This absolutely applies to me.

Both men and women can be drained by their day-to-day responsibilities, but the effect tends to be stronger for women. Why? The author says that "all her instinct as a woman - the eternal nourisher of children, of men, of society - demands that she give. Her time, her energy, her creativeness drain out into these channels if there is any chance, any leak." Through all her giving, woman finds her resources depleted.

How do we nourish ourselves and ensure that we have the energy and spirit to perform our daily tasks? By spending time alone. And by directing our energy during our time alone toward activities that inspire, fulfill, and energize us.

By spending time alone "sometime during the year, some part of each week, and each day."

For me, this is huge. Ms. Lindbergh is giving us permission to take time to ourselves. Every day. Every week. And every year. It's not only allowed, it's essential to our health, happiness, and well-being.

This time alone isn't for doing something like taking a shower or washing the dishes. It's for doing something relaxing, inspiring, or energizing. Something enjoyable. Something that is just for you.

Since my son was born, almost three years ago, I've had a hard time allowing myself to take time for myself. But I'm starting to change that. Last weekend, I went to the library and Whole Foods by myself. Yes, it was still a chore as opposed to something purely relaxing, but it's a step in the right direction. And it was pretty exhilarating to linger in the aisles of Whole Foods for as long as I wanted to. I'm also carving out time for writing blog posts, which I find incredibly rewarding and energizing.

Your turn: how do you make time for yourself?